In memory of Pamela...

Dear Darnell Family,

One of the scholarships that I submitted online tonight required that I write an essay about someone in my life that I've looked up to and why in less than 1,000 words. I just wanted to let you know that I wrote my essay about Pamela. :-) I always looked up to her and considered her a special friend whose memory I will always cherish. Thankyou again for sharing such a wonderful daughter/siseter with the world for as long as you could!!! She meant a lot to a lot of people. I just wanted to let you know her and your entire family are constantly on my mind... nearly everyday in fact... and will always be in my heart and prayers - especially in the weeks to come. She's the only member of your family that I even knew, but I want you to know that I love you all dearly just the same.

In Christ,

Robin M. Taylor

By the way, here's a copy of the essay that I submitted if you'd like to read it: My friend Pamela's friendship has meant the world to me. Unfortunately, I'm writing this merely weeks before the day signifying one year since we lost her to cancer. There are so many wonderful things to say about her that I almost don't even know where to begin. She was honestly probably one of the most fun, loving, caring, gentle, and kind-hearted individuals that I have ever met. She was the type of person that would instantly befriend and help out anyone that crossed her path. She never helped people out or volunteered for things merely to be able to say that she did them and have all eyes on her or recieve the credit and recognition. She did those things because she truly cared about people. Her love for people and their lives was genuine and people coule tell that something was positively different about her compared to most. I loved her like a sister. Whenever I was tired about school or life in general, she'd always be there to listen and talk with me - no matter how busy or stressed she was herself. I think she's also the only person besides myself that I've known to regularly take on as many different tasks on top of school work and a job at one time. But, she was very well organized and extremely smart so she excelled at it all. And, for that reason in itself, I am both amazed and inspired. Ultimately, she wasn't perfect and never claimed to be. She truly had a heart of gold though. She always seemed to be in a good mood and I can't even remember a time when she didn't have a big, beautiful smile across her face. She was such an amazing person inside and out, as well as a great daughter, sister, and friend to so many people in her short time on earth. I feel that I am truly blessed to have known her for the short time that I did and I feel sorry for all those that never got that truly special opportunity. She was a one of a king girl, that's for sure. She just had a special way about her that very few people have. She always tried to encourage others and cheer people up when they were having a bad day. She seemed to have a natural glow about her and a beautiful light that shined from within. Words can't even express how much she is missed or how many lives she touched both before and since her passing. She always had a happy-go-lucky, optimistic, upbeat personality. Especially during the majority of the time that I knew her, that wasn't me at all. It's not that I was always in a bad mood or something, but I was still probably one of the most stressed out, pessimistic people that you'd ever meet at the time. Since then, that's really chancged a lot though. When I found out that she was sick and in the hospital, it changed almost instantly in a lot of ways. But even before I started to change my outlook on life, she never pushed me away or judged me for it. She was a friend to me instead. She talked with me, laughed with me, and ultimately her friendship with me is what propmted a change for the better in me. She's an amazing example of the way I want people to view me when everything is all said and done so I've decided to give optimism a chance. When I started to do that and let people like her be more aware of what's going on in my life, it was like a big weight had been lifted off of my shoulders and I didn't have to worry about things as much as I had been. After she was hospitalized, everything happened so fast and I felt like I had no room for pessimism. I had to be optimistic about that situation more than I had been optimistic about anything in my life before. I stayed positive, kept telling myself that the doctors would find out what was wrong and make her okay again, waited, hoped, and constantly prayed like crazy for a miraculous recovery. Ultimately, she was just too good for this world and God decided that it was time to call His child home instead. In the end, she stayed true to her faith and praised her Lord and Savior for all the great things He gave her. She never complained or said "Why me?" even while she was fighting for her life. She remained strong and left behind a good testimony of how our lives should be lives until the very end. She never gave up hope that things would be better. I strongly believe that I will see my wonderful friend again one day, and I can't wait for that day to come. Until then, I will continue to use her life as an example of how I want mine to be, and that is a life that's completely sold out for God. I don't need to live for the guilty pleasures of the world that I know won't even last anyway. I'm going to try and make sure that the lovely natural light that she possessed never goes out. I want people to even see that light shine from within me and recognize that there's something different about me. I very much want people to see the change in me from before this happened until now. I feel I owe a majority of that to Pam and what her life and friendship truly meant to me. She's a person that I admired and respected from the moment I met, and that doesn't happen that quickly very often and she is missed dearly.